


Where It Leads

by SassyDelusions (Sassydelusions)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Ben Solo has a lot of feelings, Elizabethtown roadtrip scene, F/M, Mentioned Character Death, This is a modern setting, literally that's all this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 05:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14325801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassydelusions/pseuds/SassyDelusions
Summary: After Han Solo's death, Ben is in a rough spot. Rey makes him a map and he and his father's ashes hit the road for some bonding while Ben finds his way home.**A bright yellow sticky note sat in the corner of the messy binder cover and maps were paperclipped in place. CDs in paper cases were just beneath the maps, each one with a tracklist and instructions on when to play. When he opened it up he was met with more direct instructions and a jubilee of pictures and notes all placed there to cause a smile. She wrote the estimated length would be around forty-two hours and eleven minutes.Turn on ignition. Begin your journey. Do NOT skip ahead. Play disc one.Despite any kind of reservations he may have had, Ben put the key in the ignition and cast his father’s urn a slow glance. He was really doing this.Welcome to your roadtrip with Han!





	Where It Leads

**Author's Note:**

> My lovely Reylo friends watched Elizabethtown with me last night and after so many tears, this is what happened. This is unbetaed so there will likely be typos! Sorry about that.

The urn in his arms was deceptively light. Being a meager six or seven pounds it didn’t tire his arms, but every time he looked down at it, he found the full weight of Han Solo crash into him. As he set his father’s ashes in the passenger seat and redundantly opted to strap them in safely, Ben wondered who he was doing this for. Was it for his father, who had never been as close with as he’d wanted? Was it for Rey, who had ignited something in his heart only to tell him not to call until he’d completed this trip? Or maybe, just maybe, was it for himself? 

 

Slipping into the driver’s seat, Ben took in a deep breath and opened up the box containing his map. Rey had proven in the week he’d known her that she was an odd girl. She cared deeply and did everything with an intensity all her own. It wasn’t a surprise that she went all out on this as well, but whether he was surprised or not, it did make his heart flutter just a bit. He thought about her freckles and her sunshine smile as pulled out the carefully constructed folder from inside. 

 

A bright yellow sticky note sat in the corner of the messy binder cover and maps were paperclipped in place. CDs in paper cases were just beneath the maps, each one with a tracklist and instructions on when to play. When he opened it up he was met with more direct instructions and a jubilee of pictures and notes all placed there to cause a smile. She wrote the estimated length would be around forty-two hours and eleven minutes.

 

**_Turn on ignition. Begin your journey. Do NOT skip ahead. Play disc one._ **

 

Despite any kind of reservations he may have had, Ben put the key in the ignition and cast his father’s urn a slow glance. He was really doing this. 

 

**_Welcome to your roadtrip with Han!_ **

 

And so he slid the CD into his car’s sound system and started down the road. 

 

Every song seemed timed so perfectly. They helped him relive the blooming romance that never was. He reflected on the brief kiss they shared and he felt another smile grace his lips. It was almost like she was in the car too. He could almost see her in his rearview mirror, smiling like the sun as she recounted some story about a boyfriend he didn’t believe to be real.

 

The small town of Corellia blurred around him, fading into open country roads. Few cars passed on the other side of the road and he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of stories Han might have told if he were alive where he sat. Even in death, Han Solo had quite the presence about him. He didn’t have to say a word to somehow be so impossibly loud.

 

**_I’m going to bombard you with positivity. I know it’s hard. But I believe in you, Ben._ **

 

Banjo and guitar mixed with soulful lyrics accompanied him through the countryside and brought him a sense of peace he would have thought impossible. But not all the music was uplifting and not all the music was dedicated to Rey. It seemed that she could see the future because the shift in tone came the moment reality began to catch up with him.

 

Not only did his father die before he could mend their relationship, Ben had just lost a deal with a multibillion dollar company. Snoke wasn’t going to sign his product and he was not only out of the job but publicly being regarded as a failure. It was plastered on the cover of every magazine and playing on every gas station radio. Ben Solo was a failure in his familial and his business exploits. His car played sad violin in agreement.

 

**_You have five minutes to wallow in this delicious misery._ **

 

A twitch came under his left eye as he held tightly to the gas pump and took a deep breath.

 

**_Enjoy it. Embrace it. Discard it. And proceed._ **

 

But Ben was not defined by what the papers said. He got back behind the wheel and left his reservations, his fears, and his self doubt behind him. There were hours stretching ahead and he wasn’t going to let it be unpleasant. 

 

At every stop she marked, Ben spared a minute bring his father out to enjoy the view. They saw all sorts of trees, they sat together in meadows, and looked across fields of wheat. Ben walked along a flowing river with his father’s urn tucked safely in his arms and he thought about how thing might have been if Han could have walked with him. He might have told him a story about his own travels and all the things he’d seen. Or maybe he would have just quietly appreciated the moment. 

 

**_This is our world. This beautiful place. Everywhere you go means something to someone. Let it mean something to you too._ **

 

Ben scattered ashes along the river’s edge and watched them float along the wind. This place would always mean something to him now. Someday he might go back and see if he could sit and chat with his father again.

 

**_Make sure you stop a full thirty minutes for the best chili of your life. Yavin might not look like much, but something good can come from places you’ll never expect._ **

 

More than thirty minutes were spent in Yavin.The food was amazing, but the people were even better. Everyone had a story to tell and for the first time in ages, Ben Solo actually wanted to listen. There was history on every corner and he let himself get entirely wrapped up in it. This seemed like that kind of place that Han would loved. 

 

Ben didn’t leave until he was sure that a little bit of his father would stay there forever. One more place that Han could rest among the things that used to bring him joy.

 

**_Sometimes an end, no matter how terrifying it may seem, is only the beginning of something much bigger._ **

 

They crossed state lines as the sun dipped in the sky and painted the horizon with warm shades of purple, pink, and orange. The day was coming to a close, but their journey was barely half over. Her map lead them to places he’d never even heard of before. Places so small that now were something so big for him. Day became night and Ben found his eyes stealing back to his father’s urn more and more.

 

**_Some music needs air. Roll down the windows. Feel the wind brush through your hair._ **

 

Morning came faster than he thought it would. The hours rolling together as he marveled at how truly beautiful the world around him was. This was the world that Han Solo loved so much. The open road that kept him away from home. In understanding the beauty of the world, he was beginning to understand his father little by little. 

 

_ Han Solo tucked Ben carefully into the passenger seat, buckling him in safely. The seven year old boy look up at him with big brown eyes so full of wonder. “Where do you want to go this time, Ben?” _

 

_ “I want to see the waterfalls!” The curly haired boy had a smile wide enough to be the Grand Canyon itself. _

 

_ The scruffy man laughed and put a kiss on the top of his son’s curly haired head. Settling into the driver’s seat and putting his own seatbelt on, he nodded. “Alright, kid. You got it. One waterfall comin’ right up.” _

 

_ “I love you, dad.” _

 

_ “I love you too.” _

 

Eyes were misty as Ben looked at an urn and saw a man. It hit him painfully when the shape of Han faded away and became nothing more than a ceramic jar in his passenger seat. 

 

**_How are you doing?_ **

 

He drove past familiar waterfalls. As a child, he never would have believed someone if they told him that these falls could ever make him sad. Many of his best memories involved skipping rocks with his father here or playing tag in the streams. Ben scattered Han all over the familiar water. 

 

**_Sadness is easier because it’s surrender. Stay on course._ **

 

Han’s urn got lighter with each stop, but Ben’s heart wasn’t experiencing that same relief. All the progress made on earlier stops was beginning to undo itself as he lost himself in the grief.

 

**_My advice? Take some time to dance alone with one hand waving free._ **

 

With trees surrounding him on either side, Ben bounced around on a lone dirt road. He channeled all the energy he could into moving to the music that played loudly from his car, which was parked nearby. Dark hair flicked around without regard and his shirt rose up over his stomach as he kept a hand in the air. He reached up like he could touch the sky and refused to put his hand down until he caught a cloud.

 

There was freedom in letting loose. He let his limbs move as the pleased to the classic rock Rey had selected. Even though he was all alone, Ben was certain that Han was dancing too. 

 

“Look at us.” Ben was behind the wheel once more. “We both worked so hard, only to fail horribly in the end.” 

 

Silence hung and Ben looked over to the passenger seat. “We should have taken this trip years ago.” That was when the lightness hit him. Suddenly, all the words that Ben had wanted to say for so long were beginning to find him. 

 

“It’s not your fault that I was suicidal, Dan. All that pressure from Snoke was getting to me and I just wanted to do something right for a change. That really blew up in my face.”

 

Everything came free. He spent the next several hours talking without end. Laughter accompanied stories of all the times they used to drive for miles just to get a break. Tears accompanied all the apologies he never got the chance to say.

 

_ “I love you, Ben.” His father smiled and ruffled his hair. _

 

_ “I know.” _

 

Sobs wracked through him as he drove, missing his father more than he thought he ever could. A handful of ashes rested out the window, dusting Han’s memory along the road so he wouldn’t have to miss him any longer. That’s right. There was no need to miss his father because his father would always be with. Han Solo loved this last roadtrip just as he had, he knew it with all his heart.

 

**_Don’t get lost. Head on to the second largest Farmer’s Market in the country. It’s just off of Takodana Road. There you’ll find what you need for the rest of your journey._ **

 

Ben left the car and entered the bustling market armed with nothing but a small map. He promised Han that he wouldn’t be long. People filled every inch grass that wasn’t occupied by a booth or some kind of fair attraction. He headed straight towards a small booth that had a number of books on a rack. Rey had said in her notes that he was looking for one about planting flowers in the spring.

 

His pinky twitched slightly when he finally found it. Opening it up, a bright blue piece of paper slid from the first page. 

 

**_Go to the shoe section. You’ll find what you’re looking for in a pair of Kylo Ren boots._ **

 

A huffed out laugh left his lips. Those shoes had caused him more grief than they were worth, but there was some level of humor in the fact that they would be the object that lead him home after so long. 

 

There was one more card left. Right where she’d said it would be, Ben pulled a yellow card from the bottom of a black boot. 

 

**_You’ve reached a fork in the road. If you go back to your car now, the instructions will take you home. Or… look for a girl in a white hat. She’s been waiting for you with a different plan._ **

 

His heart nearly burst. The boot was discarded and he bounded through the market with resolve in every step. Brown eyes searched desperately through the crowd for sunshine in a red hat. He turned every which way and round every single stand. With each passing second his excitement was becoming panic. Maybe she wasn’t really there.

 

Stopping where he stood, he found a number of white hats, but none of them housed the beautiful mind that had lead him here. Fingers combed through his hair and he tried not to look as distressed as he felt. A sigh stole from his lungs as he turned to walk away. But that was when he finally caught a glimpse of her.

 

Rey wore a white beanie, her brown hair spilling over her shoulders as she swayed side to side and looked over the marketplace. She stole a glance over her shoulder and their eyes locked in an instant. Her smile was blinding, but he was sure that if her face was the last thing his eyes ever saw he wouldn’t be sorry.

 

“Ben!” She called out, waving her arm to usher him over.

 

He didn’t need to be told twice. Ben ran to her with vigor, his arms capturing her the second they could. With his hands holding her waist he hoisted her up and spun her about. She was the light at the end of the journey, the beauty found through pain, the beginning that was meant to come after the end.

 

“I’m glad you’re here.” He whispered against her ear as he set her back down onto solid ground.

 

Rey brushed some of his hair from his eyes as she leaned up to speak mere inches from his lips. “I’m glad you made it.”

 

Their lips met and Ben finally understood what his trip was for. 


End file.
